Back in 2017, the international nonprofit Men Having Babies (MHB) chose the Fort Lauderdale area to host one of its eight international gay parenting conferences. The group has since held six of its annual conferences in the state.
But while gearing up for its annual Florida Surrogacy Conference & Expo, scheduled for October 4–5 at the Pride Center at Equality Park in Wilton Manors, MHB says it received a deluge of hateful messages on its social media — prompting it to consider pulling its event from the state for good.
Screenshots shared with New Times show dozens of comments under a Facebook post that advertised the two-day conference and depicted a gay couple with their son, including "U can all die," "No momma, no family!!!" and "Someone call child services," as well as others equating LGBTQ people to "groomers" and "pedophiles."
"We've heard our share of hate speech and intolerance," MHB executive director Poole-Dayan tells New Times. "It's just we feel and have multiple indications that there's a chilling effect."
Adds Poole-Dayan, "We see it in the reduction in registration numbers. We see it in the fact that fewer people from outside of the state are choosing to come to Florida for this. Even people in Florida are wondering whether there's a future for them here if they start a family, and that's what concerns us most."
Parents Daniel and Dennis with their sons Dean and Devin in Marco Island.
Men Having Babies (MHB) photo
While Miami and South Florida were once considered a haven for the gay community, that changed with the Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis administration's legislative crusade against LGBTQ people, including the state's passage of bills such as the Parental Rights in Education law, AKA "Don't Say Gay" bill, as well as its recent quiet removal of pages dedicated to LGBTQ travel from the official state travel site.
Last year, the nation's largest LGBTQ advocacy organization and several civil rights groups issued a travel advisory about Florida that warned policies championed by DeSantis and state lawmakers are "openly hostile toward African Americans, people of color, and LGBTQ+ individuals."
Poole-Dayan says people urged MHB to boycott Florida, but the group refused.
"It didn't make sense for us to abandon prospective gay parents in Florida at the worst of times," he explains.
Now, however, the nonprofit is rethinking its place in Florida — particularly after seeing a dip in registration numbers for the upcoming Fort Lauderdale conference, Poole-Dayan says.
He says the conference saw 10 percent lower attendance last year compared to two years ago. It's currently on track to welcome roughly 30 percent fewer attendees this year.
"We don't usually shy away from challenges. I mean, we are here to change things that are not as positive now," Poole-Dayan says. "But it is only if we know we can reach people. And if people don't show up, how can we help?"
According to its website, MHB annually facilitates more than $1 million worth of financial support via discounted and free services as well as legal service providers for gay prospective parents.
The group travels across the globe each year to share resources and other guidance with gay men looking to become parents via surrogacy. It held conferences this year in Atlanta, Berlin, Chicago, and New York, with another scheduled for Belgium in November.
Poole-Dayan emphasizes that MHB exists to help prospective fathers who cannot otherwise afford to start a family.
"The unfortunate outcome of this would be not just that people in Florida are going to be disadvantaged, it's that people who are, to begin with, more disadvantaged are going to be the most disadvantaged," he says, "because what we're providing is help for people otherwise can't afford it."
