(Cue Weird Science theme. A stern-looking old man in a white lab coat enters the room and turns on a projector.) "Zee science eez clear — crystal clear! Traffic, eet eez very, very bad for your health. Just 30 minutes of breathing highway fumes triggers eentense stress, vee have found. Scientists in Boston say older people suffer memory loss and other problems when regularly soooobjected to car congestion. So yez, my friends, the traffic, eet eez killing you. And nowhere in Miami eez killing you faster than the Palmetto Expressway between NW 41st Street and the Dolphin Expressway. How do I know? Science, dummies! Zee researchers at American Highways Users Alliance croonched zee numbers and found zat zees eez zee worst, most bottlenecked roadway in Miami. Drivers lost 1.4 million hours and suffered $30 million in wasted time on zat road just last year. As a scientist, I can confirm: Zose are big numbers! So stay off zee Palmetto. Do eet for your health."