Vice City Pillow Talk: Where to Meet Likeminded Singles in Miami

My dating life has been surprisingly old-fashioned for an elder millennial. Unlike most of my friends, I prefer to meet people out in the wild, just like our ancestors did. I know, I might as well be using the Yellow Pages to cold-call dates from my landline, but it's worked for me so far.

I met my last boyfriend at a Fourth of July barbecue in Morningside. We bonded over our status as the token divorced people at the party while eating homemade smoked ribs off paper plates. After two or three beers, he asked for my number — not my Instagram handle — which eventually led to a dinner date, which eventually led to two years of dating.

My current person (note the intentional omission of a label) and I are members of the same gym. It took a solid eight years for us to speak, but here we are more than nine months later after finally doing so, making dinner together on weeknights and then showing up to the gym the next morning with our blender bottles and our post-coital glow. If we hit the one-year mark and there's still no label, we'll need to have a serious conversation, but the situationship is a topic for another day.

According to a recent study from DatingAdvice.com, Gen Z is pushing back against dating apps and seeking love the same way their boomer forefathers did before them. In fact, almost 85 percent of the youngins prefer to meet prospective partners IRL versus online. It's a quest I fully support, if only because I'm an extrovert at heart and prefer flesh-and-blood conversations to the cold facelessness of words on screens. (Yes, I realize the irony of the statement as I continue to type out the rest of this column.)

But where can local singles venture out to find compatible partners? Not everyone has friends in Morningside or the patience to wait out the better part of a decade to talk to their gym crushes. In the app world, there's the benefit of preselection: age, gender, interests, and even kinks can be preapproved before ever sending that initial "hey" text to a potential mate. The real world isn't as easy to sort and categorize, but with reader input, I've put together a roundup of local pickup spots that just might include ground zero for your next situationship or committed partner.

For fit singles

Meeting someone at the gym is almost too cliché (what does that say about me?), but also, why shit where you eat? If your daily workout is your peace, you might want to keep it that way and check out a weekly or monthly meetup instead. Here are a couple that came highly recommended: Brickell Run Club and Miami Hiking Club.

For the socially and environmentally conscious

I previously wrote that this quality in a person didn't matter much, but I can admit when I'm wrong. Keeping our beaches tidy is sexy AF, and according to environmentalist Andrew Otazo, cleanups are a great activity if you want to make new friends while protecting our waterways. Find an upcoming opportunity at volunteercleanup.org.

For the foodies

Downtown food hall Julia & Henry's is huge. It has amazing food and drink options, and the central bar is perfectly designed for socializing. There is something for every culinary taste here, and the food hall format is uniquely conducive to walking around and, by extension, meeting more people. If you need a little extra help meeting someone, though, there are weekly events like ladies' night and bingo to help you out.

For the nightlife kings and queens

Jolene Sound Room is located in the basement of Julia & Henry's. The intimate lounge is rumored to have been Al Capone's illegal liquor stock tunnel. That fun fact has nothing to do with meeting singles but might be a good talking point if you come across a hottie while you're there. On second thought, maybe just buy them a drink. Check out the spot's weekly schedule for an impressive rotation of DJs.

For the live music lovers

Little Havana bar and lounge Ball & Chain is well-established for live Cuban music, but it also offers free salsa classes Sunday through Thursday at 9 p.m. Who knows? Maybe you'll show up single and leave with a partner — or at least a phone number.

Meanwhile, Zey Zey in Little Haiti is a vibe. With three stages spread throughout the indoor/outdoor venue, music is king here. But you can also find craft cocktails at the bar and bites from their rotating cast of food vendors.

For gay singles

Miami has its mainstay gay clubs like Nathan's and Twist, but I'm told that these days, it's all about the monthly parties. These are roving events with music, drinks, dancing, and, if the photos are even remotely accurate, very little clothing. Here are two that came highly recommended: Midnight Service and the Playl1st.

For lesbian singles

My sources tell me that there is a serious lack of options out there, but they've found good times and dating success at these roving parties: Pandora Events, Lez Collaborate Events, She Life Events, and Lez Chic.

For zaddies and sugar babies

The Living Room at Faena isn't friendly on the wallet, but then again, maybe that's the point. With lush velvet furnishings and cheetah print on repeat, it makes for a sexy meet-cute, especially if you're an established gentleman or a fresh young lady.

For the readers

Books & Books in Coral Gables is the fated location where I met the father of my children, who was, all things considered, a great thing. With nightly programming ranging from author talks to trivia nights to live music in the courtyard, there's pretty much always something to do here with your prospective sweetheart. Plus, with coffee and bites in the café and wine and beer at the bar, it has all the loosening up material you could possibly need.

Pillow Talk to Me

What have I missed? I want to hear your best (and worst) local meet-cute stories. While I have your attention, I'm also looking to hear from people in current or recent situations. Contact me at [email protected].